even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Two words: blizzard sex
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Drunk is a universal language darling
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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