im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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