so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Dignity is for republicans.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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