I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
