I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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