paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
well you can't waste a boner
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
