I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
