Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
