ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
