my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
