Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
