Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
