so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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