Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
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