gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
