i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I just googled if crying burns calories
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
