Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
