About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
