I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
