I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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