im drinking this country out of the recession.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
