My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
