Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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