I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
You ruined the universe
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
