shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
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