Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
