once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
