My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
