just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
