then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Randomize
