Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Just cropdusted the office
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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