help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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