Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
ok first of all what the fuck
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
