Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
