You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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