shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
You made out with two different species that night
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
you never un-have a 4some
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
