he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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