I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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