that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
