Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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