So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
