need another drink. this is the easiest way
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
