So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Randomize
