chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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