my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
