Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
