Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
