do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
