apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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