I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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